I haven’t worked on any new artworks since mid-March. First, Mass Effect Andromeda came out on March 21st and I started playing it obsessively and then, a couple weeks later, my computer broke down. While trying to fix my computer, I wiped the main hard drive. It turned out to be a problem with my motherboard so wiping the hard drive was an unnecessary pain in the ass. Once I got everything reinstalled and ready for work, I got sick. I let it go for too long before going to the doctor and a minor sinus infection became severe because I’m a dumbass. It completely drained/exhausted me. I slept almost non-stop for weeks. I was just too tired to stay awake for very long. As the sleeping thing started to slowly improve, I began sliding into a depressive state. I fought it as best I could and managed to do a little bit of work back in May.
In late May I finished my Noir Siren artwork and created a character for the toon model Maisie which I named Dahlia. Dahlia did not sell well which caused me to slide even further into depression. The big summer sale at Steam happened in late June so I took a break and started playing several games from Steam that I bought both before and during the sale. I meant to write reviews for them all but I have yet to do that. Although I reached out for help and the doctor adjusted my medications, my depression continued to worsen.
Now it’s August and I’m still very depressed and, to make life even more horrible, I’m sick again with another sinus infection and severe headaches. I went to the doctor the other day and they gave me antibiotics for the infection but nothing for the headaches. So I’m suffering from both emotional and physical pain with no relief for either.
I’ll be going back to my psych therapist early next week and I hope they can change my medications again. I’ve got to do something. I hate feeling like this. I don’t need to be feeling euphoric, just content would be fine by me. I’ll have to go back to the general practice doctor, again, sometime next week to get help for my headaches. Here’s hoping I’m able to get help for all that ails me next week. I’m more than ready to start feeling better.
I still haven’t gotten back to work on my art. I have started brainstorming for some new graphic novels which… I haven’t even started illustrating the old one. The two new ideas are both sci-fi themed. I just have a notebook on my desk that I scratch ideas into whenever they come to mind. I’ve got some interesting ideas so far but they’re still just ideas. I’m a long ways away from having enough in mind to start drafting a story. Maybe I’ll try to do some concept art for the ideas. I don’t know. I’ve been spending most of my time losing myself in the Mass Effect series of games. I have spent a little bit of time working on my websites and this blog in the past couple weeks as well.
I’ve been so depressed that I’ve completely lost track of my weight and have stopped dieting as I yearn for comfort foods. I also started drinking diet sodas again. To be honest though, I’ve been feeling a little better since I started drinking soda again. I don’t know if it’s the caffeine or the positive emotional association I have with Coca-Cola or both.
Time for a nap.