Well, I’m not dead yet. That’s something. I’ve been feeling like I was dying lately. As mentioned in my previous post from December (Down and Out) I was sick then too. Just when I thought I was going to be feeling better, the flu hit me pretty hard a couple weeks ago. I’ve still got a cough and congestion plus my usual chronic headaches. I feel like shit. I saw my primary care doctor today and got a little help with stuff. I just really, really wish I had something that would work for my headaches.

While my physical health sucks, my mental health has been okay. I’m still feel tired all the time and have several signs of depression but I don’t particularly feel absolutely depressed. I don’t really know how I feel. Between the congestion, cough, constant headaches, and fatigue… I haven’t had a chance to notice how I actually feel. I guess I’m just too focused on the physical to worry about the mental right now. I saw my therapist today too and she basically said the same and cut my appointment short; wait until I deal with the physical stuff and then we will get back to work on the mental.

Never Hold Back
Never Hold Back
Shelby Bly Project

Despite all the illness, I have managed to get a lot of work done on my art projects including the Shelby Bly Project. I finished writing (by hand, I might add) the Story Draft #4 on January 6th. Now I’m working on typing up the Story Draft #5 which will hopefully be the final draft before I start work on story boards and then illustrations. I still have a lot of concept art to create before I start illustrating though. So much work, so little time.

I have also created several new artworks since the end of December including Lost Dolls, Orchid Zen, Never Hold Back, Candlelit, and Poppies. You can see them all on my official art site at Dream 9 Studios. I’ve got a few more pieces in the works but I’m kinda stuck on some of them. No matter what I do, they just don’t want to turn out right. I’ll keep on working though. It’s all I’ve got. I’ve already started a new notebook of ideas for 2018 so no shortage of ideas, just time and patience.

porg-plush
It’s a Porg!

In other news, if you read my last entry you’ll know I had an Amazon gift card from my beloved aunt for Xmas. I finally spent most of it today. I had been thinking for weeks about what to use it for. I thought about buying Star Wars Battlefront II just for the single-player missions but it went off sale by the time I made up my mind and I’m still pissed off at EA for what they did to Mass Effect Andromeda. So what did I buy? A few little things I’ve been wanting for quite a while and a Porg. Yes, a fluffy Porg plush that makes noises just like the ones in Star Wars VIII The Last Jedi. By the way, I finally saw the movie last week. I loved it. It had exactly what I wanted in a sequel to the Force Awakens: more Poe Dameron. Plus it had Porgs! I can’t wait to see the disapproving looks my parents will give me when they see I spent my money on a Porg. 😀 I’ll put it on the shelf next to my Tribble.

aayla-shirt
Aayla in her Star Wars shirt

Oh, I also bought Aayla a Star Wars t-shirt from Petco that I found on sale today. She looks so cute in it! I just wish they had it in my size too! LOL It’s a little loose around the neck but Mom said it might shrink in the wash. If it doesn’t, I may ask my aunt if she could alter it for me.

So what’s next? I turn 33 years old next month. That’s surprising. I never thought I’d make it this long. Seriously. I thought I’d be dead before I hit 30. So knowing I’m about to turn 33 feels… existential.

I’ll continue working on my art projects, they’re all I have now. I hope to get my graphic novel finished before the end of this year. If that’s going to happen, I had better get back to typing up that final draft right now.

I also need to get my Pops collection organized. I’ve got a few new ones that I haven’t put on this blog yet or even up on my shelf yet. I have a lot of “organizing” and cleaning to do, actually. I’ll get to work on that tomorrow or later this week. I hope. I’ll try to. I still feel so down and out. I’ll try my best which is all I can do.