My 32nd birthday was this past Saturday. I got a lot more birthday wishes on Facebook than I was expecting which really cheered me up. I only just today finished replying to each one! Mom brought home some chicken fried rice from my favorite Chinese restaurant. Other than that, it was a mostly uneventful day.

I began thinking about what I wanted most for my birthday and the answer is to improve my health and lower my weight. The problem is how to approach this; what exactly to do. I’ve been looking at various diets and recipes trying to find one that not only works but one that I would actually stick to. The Mediterranean Diet looks promising with the ability to eat pasta and bread (as long as it’s whole grain and not covered in butter) but I’m not sure. The last time I successfully lost weight I didn’t go on any specific diet, I just counted calories while trying to stay under or around 2,500 calories. That was back in my early 20s and I lost weight a little too quickly but my metabolism was probably higher then too. The bottom line is that I just have to dedicate myself to actually doing this and not slack off. I’m certainly motivated every time I pass by a mirror or try on clothes that used to fit.

I’ll need to start exercising too though right now I get out of breath just walking up and down the stairs. Something went wrong last October/November and I gained over 25 lbs in a month. Since then I’ve had a lot of trouble moving around. I’m just not used to being this overweight. As long as I exercise at least some and keep to the dieting the weight should start coming off and then moving around and exercising should be slightly less torturous. We have some exercise equipment in our basement so I’ll start by using that stuff. I think there’s an elliptical machine down there that should do nicely for a start. As the weather warms up I’ll be able to take the dogs for walks too. Aayla is almost as out of shape as I am so neither of us can walk very far right now. I’ll just have to do a little today and a little more tomorrow and so on. I have to do this; there’s no other way and it’s only going to get harder as I get older.

I know that losing weight would help with my depression to. It won’t cure it of course, but it will be a huge boost to my self-esteem which I am in desperate need of. It’s hard to stay positive when I don’t feel positive about myself. I hate the way I look and feel. I need to lose weight for the sake of my mental health even more than I do for my physical health.

Will it work? I honestly don’t know. All I can do now is try my hardest to achieve my goal and hope that I’ll have a much happier 33rd birthday.