I just realized last week that it’s December and then realized an hour ago that today is New Year’s Eve. Shit. Where did it all go? I remember some of it but most of it seems to have just floated by. I wonder what 2020 will bring or if most of it will float by as well? I guess there’s only one way to find out for sure.

2019 was a weird year. It had some good ups and some bad downs. I created a slew of rather good artworks, if I do say so myself, but there were a few months here and there that I created nothing at all due to my depression. There were also some upheavals. The doctor that has been managing my medicines for the past few years moved to New York and my therapist of nearly five years retired which kind of left me out in the cold. Also the receptionist (my favorite receptionist) at the clinic where both the doc and the therapist worked has also retired as of today. I’ve gotten to where I really, really don’t like changes like that. Still, I have to deal with it because I have no choice in the matter. I’ll be getting a new therapist in 2020 and I hope that works out. It’s hard to find a good therapist as not every one is a good fit for each patient. Time will tell.

I’m feeling… odd. I was feeling depressed but now I’m kind of in neutral with a leaning towards better than I was feeling. My new doc tried increasing one of my antidepressants to combat my increasing depression and I think it might be working. I’ll give it another week to be sure. Otherwise, I’ll have to change my main medication and I do not look forward to doing that (and neither does anyone who has to put up with me during the medication transition). 

Most of the holidays have come and gone now. Thanksgiving was good. We spent the day at my uncle’s house and got to see my aunts and cousins while having a great dinner. We also took Aayla and Pixie with us and they had fun running around a different house and meeting other doggies. Xmas Day was okay. We went back to my uncle’s house for more dinner with the family but I started to have a panic attack and had to leave early and return to my sanctum of solitude. I then spent most of the day in bed trying to recover. Not my best Xmas by far but also by far not the worst.

I actually had a better after Xmas when all the gifts started coming in. LOL I got a new purse, The Orville Season 2 on DVD, Captain Marvel on blu-ray, a couple Funko Pops, an Amazon Echo Dot, a couple smart light bulbs for the Dot, a new waterproof chroma keyboard, an Amazon Fire TV Stick, a new lap desk for my laptop, the games Draugen and Hellblade on Steam, and a Nvidia GeForce GTX 1660 Super GPU for my work PC!

I’m having fun with my Echo Dot. It was weird at first, talking and ordering around Alexa and I actually felt social anxiety from it. I’m getting better at it now though. I just ordered her to turn on my lamp and play the Beatles. The speaker’s sound is actually very good for its size and I’m surprised by its quality. This is so cool. I need to get some more smart light bulbs so I can have her turn on/off my overhead light fixture as well. I haven’t received the Fire TV Stick yet so I’m not sure how that will work with the Dot or if I can only control it from the remote with Alexa. I look forward to figuring it out!

I’m not going to bother making any New Year’s Resolutions as I never hold to them for more than a few days. I do want to try to create more artworks than ever in the new year, learn new art techniques, and other stuff like that. I’d like to lose some weight too but I’ve been trying so damn long… hell, I’ll keep trying no matter what. I don’t know what else to say in here… except…